Quote: “Our Lives Begin to End …”

October 24th, 2008

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that really matter.”

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

My friend Nicole Scott, who’s now working for Nuru International, introduced me to this quote.  It continues to resonate in me.

Watch the Ben Folds Five Reunion Concert

October 24th, 2008
Ben Folds Five, 1999

Ben Folds Five, 1999

To kick off MySpace’s new concert series called “Front to Back,” Ben Folds Five recently reunited to play a concert in Chapel Hill, NC, where the band got its start in the 90’s.

The band performed, front to back, their album “The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner.” It’s a brilliant album (though it was underappreciated by many when it was released in 1999).

You can watch the entire show — which is AMAZING! — on MySpace.

The show includes interviews with each band member, musicians (such as Ben Lee) who were influenced by the band, and others.

Last night I watched the entire show TWICE, and sang all the lyrics and played air piano on a pillow. I was sweating. I’m surprised my neighbors didn’t come over to join me (or, more realistically, have me arrested).

Enjoy!

Nic and Doug Leave Jobs, Move to Africa!

October 17th, 2008

My good friends Nicole and Doug Scott recently left their jobs in Chicago, joined the staff of Nuru International and moved to Africa! Whoa.

Nuru International’s mission is to eliminate extreme poverty by creating sustainable, measurable solutions that result in significant, lasting change.

Nicole is a water resources engineer and is now in charge of Nuru’s water/sanitation program. She’s helping extremely poor communities get access to clean drinking water.

Don’t miss Nicole’s blog — she’s blogging about her work with Nuru and her new life in rural Kenya. She’s a great writer, and her blog posts are funny, raw, touching, fascinating and inspiring.

For even more info about Nuru International (by the way, “Nuru” means “light”), check out Nuru’s Facebook page, Nuru’s photos, and watch a video of Jake Harriman talking about why he founded Nuru and what Nuru is all about.

Who Cares What Actors Have to Say About Politics?

October 1st, 2008

ed fargleA couple days ago I posted a video of actor Matt Damon sharing what he thinks about vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

In response, my friend Laurie posted the following comment:

Alright. I must comment on Hollywood stars spouting off about their political beliefs. Let me just say this as clearly as I can … I DO NOT CARE to hear your personal rantings on t.v. interviews, award shows, or in any other form of media. Is this because I’m a Republican? Maybe. But I also don’t think fame suddenly gives you intelligence.

Well, Laurie, you and my favorite guru, ed fargle, are on the same page about this.

Years ago a reader of ed’s advice column named James VanNatter asked ed the following question:  Why are movie and rock stars always being asked their opinions on the deep issues of the day?

Check out ed’s response.

Recent Research Results: Touch Is Powerful

October 1st, 2008

Holding handsIn my recent post about cuddle parties, I mentioned that touch is one of the primary ways we humans give and receive love. Needless to say, touch is also one of the most powerful ways we give and receive love — and recent research results demonstrate the power of touch.

USA Weekend (the weekend edition of USA Today) recently published a blurb highlighting the results of research conducted by James A. Coan, a neuroscientist in the University of Virginia’s psychology department. Here’s a snippet from the blurb:

Brain scans of women under stress show they get calmer when holding a man’s hand, even that of a stranger. Stress reduction was most dramatic when the woman and man had close emotional ties. Hand holding may also lower a woman’s perception of pain, much like a painkiller.

I’d like to hold somebody’s hand today. Do you think I should ask first?

For more info about the research, visit UVA’s research site: affectiveneuroscience.org.

Fellow Cubs Fans, This Is Our Year (or Is It?)

October 1st, 2008

CubsToday’s a big day for the Chicago Cubs — and for all of us Cubs fans! The playoffs start today, and the Cubs are hosting the Dodgers at good ole Wrigley Field.

I’m excited, yes, and terrified. I’ll be watching, cheering … and shaking nervously.

It’s been 100 years since the Cubs have won the World Series.

Are the Cubs cursed? And do I secretly like it that way? Yikes! I don’t even wanna go there.

Sports Illustrated writer Rick Reilly, who I enjoy, recently created a funny video about the Cubs’ curse. I thought I’d post it here as a way of defying the curse, like “Hey, Curse, you don’t scare me … I can laugh about you cause I know you don’t exist.” (You don’t exist, do you?)

Palin Candidacy Is Like Disney Movie

September 29th, 2008

In the U.S. presidential race, I’m stunned by the lack of experience of two of the candidates, Sarah Palin and Barack Obama.

I can, however, imagine Obama as president (for several reasons, which I won’t get into here).

I can’t imagine Palin as vice president or president (though I love her Upper Midwest-like accent!). Maybe that’s because I don’t know enough about her or about politics. Maybe after the debates I’ll change my mind.

For now, though, her candidacy seems like a joke and perhaps even an act of disrespect for the offices of vice president and president. Or, perhaps even more accurately, it’s like a really bad Disney movie, as actor Matt Damon points out in the video below.

Need More Physical Touch? Try a Cuddle Party

September 27th, 2008

CuddlingPhysical touch is one of the primary ways we humans give and receive love. Yet, in my opinion, physical touch is waaaaay undervalued and underutilized (at least in the U.S.).

As a single guy, I often feel starved for touch. (That’s why I drive down to 5th Street and pay Mona $25. Kidding.) I don’t think, however, it’s just single people who feel a need for more touch. I know married people who feel a big need for touch.

Slowly I’m getting better at asking for the physical touch that I want. Every once in a while I’ll ask one of my friends for a back rub. That’s progress. I’d love, however, to be touched more often. (Just to be clear, I’m not talking about sexual touch; I’m talking about appropriate touch between friends.)

My ideal world is a place where affection flows freely, including physical affection. Imagine:  friends holding hands with friends (including men holding hands with other men); friends offering spontaneous back, neck and shoulder rubs; friends cuddling as they watch TV and movies.

(You may be thinking, Andy needs a girlfriend. And that may be true. Ha. But, again, I think physical touch is a major pathway to give and receive love — and that’s true in friendships as well as romantic relationships.)

Until my ideal world arrives, at least I have the opportunity to attend a Cuddle Party. Yes, it’s true, cuddle parties are spreading around the country.

A few months ago, I saw a news report about cuddle parties. At first I was creeped out. But I quickly acknowledged a few things: 1) this is the kind of touch I want(!); 2) attending a cuddle party would probably help me grow in my capacity to give and receive physical touch; 3) cuddle parties could help us (the world) take a developmental step forward in our capacity to give and receive love, especially using physical touch.

Do cuddle parties still sound weird? Here’s an excerpt from the cuddle party website:

This is the real weirdness: past the age of twelve or so, we’re supposed to curtail our physical contact with other adults. As adults we STILL NEED TO BE HELD! Held, hugged, touched, stroked, caressed, piled atop on, reclined across, nuzzled, and affectionately massaged. Cuddle Parties are a place to begin exploring and reclaiming the sense of affectionate touch and play we naturally displayed and enjoyed as children, and that we need to be happy, healthy adults.

Now, cuddle parties would be creepy and unhealthy if they weren’t safe. But the folks who started the cuddle party movement are all about creating safe, healthy environments.

You can read all about cuddle parties on the FAQ page. You can also find a party near you!

Happy cuddling!

Listen to Ben Folds' New Album!

September 24th, 2008

Ben FoldsListen to Ben’s new album, Way to Normal, on his MySpace page.

On the music player, select the Way to Normal playlist.

Announcement: ed fargle Is Coming Back!

September 23rd, 2008

ed fargleAfter a nine-year hiatus, ed fargle is back … well, almost back.

About 11 years ago, when I was working at Crosswalk.com, my buddy Jeff Winkle and I decided to create a fictional character named ed fargle, who was an eccentric guru and advice columnist.

ed’s advice column ran on Crosswalk.com for almost 3 years, until I left Crosswalk to move to NC. Then Tribune Media Services (the syndication arm of Tribune Media Company) became interested in ed and decided to shop it around, to see if any websites (especially online newspapers) wanted to pick it up. It didn’t go anywhere.

But … Wink and I recently decided to bring ed back to life, just for fun.

Wink, who’s a Classics professor at Calvin College, is ed fargle. He writes the columns and draws the cartoons. Brilliant, nutty stuff!

I recently built a temporary site at edfargle.com, where you can get a little taste of ed. ed won’t officially launch until later this fall.

You may want to start with ed’s bio — it’ll give you some context for ed’s columns.

I hope you get a kick out of ed … I know I do!!!