Physical touch is one of the primary ways we humans give and receive love. Yet, in my opinion, physical touch is waaaaay undervalued and underutilized (at least in the U.S.).
As a single guy, I often feel starved for touch. (That’s why I drive down to 5th Street and pay Mona $25. Kidding.) I don’t think, however, it’s just single people who feel a need for more touch. I know married people who feel a big need for touch.
Slowly I’m getting better at asking for the physical touch that I want. Every once in a while I’ll ask one of my friends for a back rub. That’s progress. I’d love, however, to be touched more often. (Just to be clear, I’m not talking about sexual touch; I’m talking about appropriate touch between friends.)
My ideal world is a place where affection flows freely, including physical affection. Imagine: friends holding hands with friends (including men holding hands with other men); friends offering spontaneous back, neck and shoulder rubs; friends cuddling as they watch TV and movies.
(You may be thinking, Andy needs a girlfriend. And that may be true. Ha. But, again, I think physical touch is a major pathway to give and receive love — and that’s true in friendships as well as romantic relationships.)
Until my ideal world arrives, at least I have the opportunity to attend a Cuddle Party. Yes, it’s true, cuddle parties are spreading around the country.
A few months ago, I saw a news report about cuddle parties. At first I was creeped out. But I quickly acknowledged a few things: 1) this is the kind of touch I want(!); 2) attending a cuddle party would probably help me grow in my capacity to give and receive physical touch; 3) cuddle parties could help us (the world) take a developmental step forward in our capacity to give and receive love, especially using physical touch.
Do cuddle parties still sound weird? Here’s an excerpt from the cuddle party website:
This is the real weirdness: past the age of twelve or so, we’re supposed to curtail our physical contact with other adults. As adults we STILL NEED TO BE HELD! Held, hugged, touched, stroked, caressed, piled atop on, reclined across, nuzzled, and affectionately massaged. Cuddle Parties are a place to begin exploring and reclaiming the sense of affectionate touch and play we naturally displayed and enjoyed as children, and that we need to be happy, healthy adults.
Now, cuddle parties would be creepy and unhealthy if they weren’t safe. But the folks who started the cuddle party movement are all about creating safe, healthy environments.
You can read all about cuddle parties on the FAQ page. You can also find a party near you!
Happy cuddling!