I recently discovered Speaking Circles International, an organization that helps people improve their public speaking (and their capacity to be present and loving in any situation) by helping people develop their ability and capacity to be relationally present.

Hot damn! I love it!

Lee Glickstein is the founder of the organization, and (in my opinion) he’s developed an emotionally and spiritually mature paradigm for public speaking: focus on Relational Presence, not performance.

If you’re interested, check out Lee’s video below (it’s about eight minutes long), but also check out the Introduction to Relational Presence page, which includes a really great exercise.

One of the great things about this public speaking paradigm is that it’s about love. And doing the exercises and training is about emotional and spiritual development — i.e., growing in one’s capacity to give and receive love — as much as it is about public speaking. Brilliant!

Enjoy … and let me know what you think.

Seeds of Compassion was an event held recently at the University of Washington to raise awareness about the importance of raising emotionally and socially healthy kids and to bring greater understanding of how to do that.

Some leading researchers and practitioners of child development participated, including Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence; John Gottman, author of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child; Karen Gordon, founder of Whole Child International; Daniel J. Siegal, author of Parenting From the Inside Out; and Richard Davidson, director, Laboratory of Affective Neuroscience.

Also, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, who is one of the world’s great models of compassion and emotional health, participated in every seminar.

You can watch each segment of the five-day event (for free!) on the webcast page.

I didn’t watch each seminar (though I’d like to), but I really enjoyed the parts of the seminars I watched: I learned more about development and was really touched and inspired!

I highly recommend the second seminar, “From Knowledge to Compassion Action: What We All Can Do,” which covers some practical ways of how we can develop emotionally and socially healthy kids. The seminar includes a panel discussion and also some videos — the videos are really touching and inspiring … don’t miss those.

After watching some of the seminars, I sense that perhaps the bottom line is this:  In order to raise emotionally and socially healthy kids, we (parents and everybody) need a deep understanding of child development; some skills to go along with that understanding; and, most importantly, we need the emotional capacity to be emotionally available to our kids — in other words, we can’t raise emotionally healthy kids (no matter how much knowledge or how many skills we have) if we’re not emotionally healthy or taking steps to become emotionally healthier people.

If you watch any of the seminars, I’d love to hear your feedback. For example, did you learn something, did you disagree with anything, were you inspired or empowered in any way?

Finally, consider checking out the Resources Page, which lists some great resources for parents and clinicians, and the Why It Matters Page, which describes why emotional development is so crucial for kids and, ultimately, for our world.

(Thanks, Caralie, for letting me know about Seeds of Compassion!)

Every Monday night for the next several weeks, Oprah and Eckhart Tolle are talking about spiritual and emotional development – and they’re broadcasting the conversations live on Oprah’s website! Oprah and Ecky (as one of my friends has playfully referred to him) are going chapter by chapter through Tolle’s bestselling book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (which is one of the best books on spiritual and emotional development that I’ve ever read).

Oprah said this is the most exciting thing she’s ever done. Um, needless to say, coming from Oprah, who has probably done some exciting (read: blockbuster, kick-ass) things in her life, that’s saying something.

I’ve listened to the first two segments of Oprah and Ecky, and the conversations are great. Also, Oprah and Ecky take questions from the listening audience (from all over the world!), and the questions have been great.

If you’re a Christian or have a Christian background, you might like to know that in the first two segments, Oprah, Ecky and some callers spend some time discussing how Christianity (and “religion” in general) and spirituality fit together. Here’s a juicy part: Oprah describes herself as a “free-thinking Christian,” and she explains what she means by that and describes how she arrived at this point.

So what are Oprah and Ecky really talking about?!?! In the broadest sense, from my perspective and understanding, they’re talking about the spiritual and emotional developmental journey from “ego” (or false self or codependent self) to “True Self.” This is the big transformational journey most religions (at their best) and psychotherapists (at their best) try to facilitate for people.

Needless to say, I think these Oprah and Ecky conversations on Monday nights are very important and exciting! I think they’ll help some people take more steps on the transformational journey, and I think they’ll help humanity as a whole take a developmental step forward. Now that’s a big deal!

Based on what I’ve written so far, you might have the sense that these conversations are academic, theoretical or philosophical. The conversations are actually very practical and even experiential (Oprah and Ecky mix in some spiritual exercises to help listeners “experience” what they’re talking about), and you may get a lot out of them (at a minimum, you may grow in self-awareness).

If you’re interested in listening to or watching these Oprah and Ecky conversations, you’ve got some options. Most importantly, you don’t have to show up at Oprah’s website each Monday night, unless you want to watch the conversations live. All the conversations are archived and available any time (for free). Check out your options. And enjoy!

If you do watch or listen, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” -Plato

+ AUDIO INTERVIEW: On her Speaking of Faith radio program, Krista Tippett interviewed Stuart Brown, a physician and director of the National Institute for Play. Brown, 63, admits he was a workaholic for many years but now dedicates a significant amount of time every day to play.

Tippett and Brown talk about why play is important (for people of all ages) for emotional and spiritual health. And they acknowledge that many adults find it difficult to play, in part because of a cultural message that says that play (pleasurable, apparently purposeless activity) is for kids; adults need to be productive.

On a personal note, “play” is a growth area for me, so I found this interview especially helpful and interesting. Because of the cultural message I mentioned above, my distorted view of God (e.g., viewing God as a taskmaster) and probably other reasons, it can be hard for me to play without guilt and fear!

Tippett acknowledged that when she was a young adult, she struggled to play. She said that when she thought about play or had time to play, she’d often feel more anxiety than joy. I feel the same way. Ugh. (By the way, don’t miss Tippett’s personal reflections on her interview with Brown.)

So here’s to growing in “play”! Enjoy the interview!

+ WEBSITE: Stuart Brown’s National Institute of Play website offers some great resources, such as the seven patterns of play and a really sweet video about a family that integrates play into daily life.

+ WEBSITE: The Art of You is an art studio here in San Diego that focuses on art therapy. It’s run by Christina Brittain, an expressive art therapist. Creating art is often a form of play, and I love some of the classes Christina facilitates, such as “The Moving Brush” class, which combines dance and painting. I think The Art of You is a great example of an organization that’s helping people heal and grow through play.

+ WEBSITE: Another great example of an organization that’s helping people heal and grow through play is L.A.C.E.S. (Life And Change Experienced through Sports), which was founded last year in Liberia, Africa, by my friend Seren Frost. Through L.A.C.E.S., Seren is helping Liberian boys recover their childhood through playing soccer.

During Liberia’s civil war, which recently ended, rebels captured many boys and turned them into soldiers and taught them how to fight and kill. Needless to say, these boys missed out on a playful, healthy childhood. So Seren created a soccer league for some of these boys — they get to play and laugh and have fun, and they learn about good values and God from a Christian perspective. Way to go, Seren! (Don’t miss Seren’s blog – she’s a fun writer!)

+ MUSIC: On the website of The Hotel Cafe Tour (a tour featuring some top and up-and-coming singer-songwriters, such as Dan Wilson, Joshua Radin, Sara Bareilles and Bob Schneider), you can listen to some of the best songs from the touring musicians. The songs blew me away! Light a candle, pour a glass of wine, float around your living room, enjoy.

+ AUDIO INTERVIEW: Back in December, Krista Tippet, the host of radio program Speaking of Faith, interviewed Jean Vanier, who’s now in his 70’s. Vanier founded a community centered around people with mental disabilities, L’Arche, that has now become a global movement. L’Arche communities embody the ideal of power in smallness, strength in weakness and light in the darkness of human existence. (If you’re familiar with Henri Nouwen, you may know that Nouwen spent the last years of his life living in a L’Arche community in Toronto.)

In the interview, entitled “The Wisdom of Tenderness,” Vanier spoke about his understanding of humanity and God.

Our house church recently listened to the interview and we were on the edge of our seats. The interview energized and softened us! Afterward we had a great time sharing with each other the many things from the interview that struck us and touched us.

Here are some of my favorite books from last year, in no particular order. All of these have helped me in my journey of recovery and growth.

Belonging: Bonds of Healing and Recovery by Matthew Linn, Dennis Linn and Sheila Fabricant Linn | This book is definitely on my top five all-time list! It’s been profoundly helpful for me, and I know it’ll continue to be. The Linns write with amazing simplicity, grace and love. They do a phenomenal job integrating emotional and spiritual growth. One of my big take-aways: According to many psychotherapists, shame is at the core of the “psychic pain” that fuels addiction, and belonging (i.e., unconditional love) is the key to recovery and healing.

Healing Spiritual Abuse & Religious Addiction by the Linns | Yep, the Linns again. One of my big take-aways: According to the Linns, part of healthy spirituality is giving myself and others spiritual freedom.

Reading the Bible Again for the First Time: Taking the Bible Seriously But Not Literally by Marcus Borg | This was an important book for me, in part because I grew up in an environment that taught that the Bible is God’s Word — that God wrote the Bible through human authors, that everything in the Bible is true and, in fact, that the Bible contains the Truth. One of my big take-aways: According to Borg, the Bible is a human product, and the authors of the Bible were expressing their best understanding of God, Jesus, humanity and the universe.

Practically Shameless: How Shadow Work Helped Me Find My Voice, My Path and My Inner Gold by Alyce Barry | If you’d like to better understand how doing Shadow Work may help you mature emotionally and spiritually, this is a great place to dive in. Alyce (whose brother is Cliff Barry, one of the pioneers of Shadow Work) writes so clearly and vulnerably. One of my big take-aways: According to Alyce, the human shadow could be called “the box built by shame,” and healing the shame transforms the box into a life of more freedom and love.

Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families by Charles Whitfield | This book is considered a classic, and now I know why — it has been so helpful! Most of us (if not all of us) have some Inner Child, or Child Within, recovery work to do. This book is a great place to start! One of my big take-aways: According to Whitfield, the Child Within is our True Self (as opposed to our false self or codependent self).

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle | This book might be in my top five of all time, at least top ten. Very few books I’ve read have as much spiritual authority as this book. It’s one of the best descriptions of the transformational journey from ego (or false self) to True Self. One of my big take-aways: According to Tolle, it’s not the emotional pain (what Tolle calls the “pain-body”), but identification with it that causes the suffering that I inflict on myself and others. (Sounds like “shame,” doesn’t it? Do you sense a theme in these books and in the transformational journey?)

Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh | I’ve told several of my friends that if this was the one and only book that every human being read, we’d all do just fine … in fact, the world would be an absolutely wonderful place to live. Like Tolle’s book, this book has some serious spiritual authority. This truly is a classic. So simple, yet so deep and profound. It might crack my top five of all time list. One of my big take-aways: According to Hanh, to have direct experience of God, or of Ultimate Reality, we must abandon our notions of God, Buddha, nirvana, self, non-self, birth, death, being and non-being.

True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart by Thich Nhat Hanh | OK, this is a very slim book (104 pages) about how to deeply love another human being (and yourself). Hanh writes with such beautiful simplicity, grace and tenderness. One of my big take-aways: The Four Mantras: “Dear one, I am really here for you.” “Dear one, I know that you are there, and it makes me very happy.” “Dear one, I know that you are suffering, that is why I am here for you.” “Dear one, I am suffering, please help.”

»Q&A With Michael Dowd About Evolution and Spirituality

Thanks to my subscription to WIE Unbound, I recently discovered Michael Dowd (a former pastor) and his wife Connie Barlow (a scientist). They’ve spent the last five years traveling the country to preach the Gospel of Evolution (i.e., the “good news” of evolution and why having a sacred view of evolution is important for the healthy development of and care for individuals, communities, nations, the earth and the entire universe). Michael and Connie speak to various groups (religious, scientific and otherwise), including a lot of church groups.

I’m incredibly impressed with Michael and his sacred view of evolution! I can’t say that strongly enough! His perspective and views have already been helpful for me in terms of affirming, challenging and expanding my own experiential and intellectual understanding of God and human development. Hold me back … I’m ready to hop in the van with Michael and Connie and preach the Gospel … of evolutionary spirituality.

If I’ve piqued your interest at all, don’t miss the Q&A With Michael Dowd — it’s the perfect place to dive in. Michael answers basic questions (via text and video clips) about what it means to have a sacred view of evolution and why it’s important. He’s a gifted communicator, incredibly articulate, passionate and down-to-earth.

I’m not the only one, by the way, who’s excited about Michael Dowd’s sacred view of evolution (and, to clarify, his view isn’t new … Michael’s following in the footsteps of Thomas Berry, Brian Swimme, Teilhard de Chardin and others … but few people have articulated a sacred view of evolution in such a compelling and integrated — yes, integrated — way). Michael’s recent book, Thank God for Evolution, is getting rave reviews from pastors, rabbis, Buddhists, Hindus, Nobel prize winning scientists, etc. The list of endorsements is incredibly impressive!

Last thing: For a basic primer on evolutionary spirituality and theology, check out the Wikipedia page, Evolution Theology.

»SacredSpace.ie – Guided Meditations

My friend Beth Anne Carlson recently introduced me to SacredSpace.ie, and it’s an example of an effective Web-based spiritual formation tool. It was effective for me anyway … in the sense that it helped me experience God’s presence. The site’s produced by the Jesuit Communication Centre in Dublin, Ireland; they actually publish a new guided meditation every day. Consider taking ten minutes and trying it. It may help you connect with God and yourself in a significant way.

»Other6.com – A Web-Based Spiritual Formation Tool

Other6.com is another effective Web-based tool. It’s produced by Loyola Communications (in Chicago). I’m tellin’ ya, the Jesuits are leading the way in developing Web-based spiritual formation tools.

Other6.com is based on a simple spiritual exercise from St. Ignatius aimed at deepening your awareness of God’s presence. The site is very simple — and unique! — and my experience on the site was simple. But it was also deep, as I took my time to really connect with God and myself (and others) through my experience on the site. Definitely consider giving it a try!

»ARTICLE/INTERVIEW: “Just Say ‘Yes’ to the Moment,” an Interview With Tara Brach (Beliefnet)

I’m a big Tara Brach fan. She’s a psychotherapist and meditation instructor — and I really like her approach to the transformational journey. In this interview, she talks a lot about self acceptance, which is at the core of the transformational journey (and is an area I focus a lot of attention on). She also talks about fear, the “small self” and the integration of Western psychology and Eastern spiritual practices. I hope it’s helpful for you!

»Conference: Jesus and Buddha — Paths to Awakening

“I am awake.” -Buddha | “Stay awake.” -Jesus

Richard Rohr and James Finley are going to explore the essence of Buddhism’s Four Noble Truths and how Jesus’ teaching relates to them. Rohr’s a Franciscan priest and one of my favorite authors and teachers. Finley used to be a Trappist monk (and studied with Thomas Merton); he’s now a renowned psychotherapist and spiritual counselor. I’m definitely considering making the trip to Albuquerque for this one. It’s coming up; the dates are Jan. 25-27.

A side note: Those of you in Chicago, check out Richard Rohr speaking at Loyola University on Dec. 1. He’s talking about his brand-new book, Things Hidden: Scripture as Spirituality. I wish I could go with you!

»Interview With James Finley: “Experiencing God Through Meditation” (beliefnet)

In this great interview with James Finley (mentioned above), Finley talks about what Christian meditation is, what its benefits are and why some Christians are wary of it. “Christian meditation,” Finley states, “is way of experiencing God beyond what the ego can grasp or attain. It’s beyond thought, beyond memory, beyond the will, beyond feeling.”

Over the past few years, Willow Creek Community Church, one of the most influential churches in America and the world, has been doing research to discover which of its programs and activities are helping people to mature spiritually and which are not.

Recently Willow Creek released its findings, and senior pastor Bill Hybels described the findings as “earth shaking” and “mind blowing.” What did the findings reveal? One key revelation was this: increasing involvement in programs and activities does NOT predict whether people will mature spiritually.

That’s a huge revelation for Willow Creek because it has put most of its eggs (and many millions of dollars) into the program-driven church basket. Hybels called the findings the “wake-up call of his adult life.”

How will this research affect the Christian church in America and around the world? Who knows. I hope it leads to a focus on helping people to develop emotionally and spiritually in deeper and deeper ways. This could be a very positive step in the evolution of the Christian church.

To read more about the research findings and to view videos of Willow Creek pastors talking about the findings, visit ChristianityToday.com’s blog post, “Willow Creek Repents?”