Smooch the Blog » Spiritual Exercises

SacredSpace, Other6, Self Acceptance

andypad — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 01:11:02 +0000

»SacredSpace.ie – Guided Meditations

My friend Beth Anne Carlson recently introduced me to SacredSpace.ie, and it’s an example of an effective Web-based spiritual formation tool. It was effective for me anyway … in the sense that it helped me experience God’s presence. The site’s produced by the Jesuit Communication Centre in Dublin, Ireland; they actually publish a new guided meditation every day. Consider taking ten minutes and trying it. It may help you connect with God and yourself in a significant way.

»Other6.com – A Web-Based Spiritual Formation Tool

Other6.com is another effective Web-based tool. It’s produced by Loyola Communications (in Chicago). I’m tellin’ ya, the Jesuits are leading the way in developing Web-based spiritual formation tools.

Other6.com is based on a simple spiritual exercise from St. Ignatius aimed at deepening your awareness of God’s presence. The site is very simple — and unique! — and my experience on the site was simple. But it was also deep, as I took my time to really connect with God and myself (and others) through my experience on the site. Definitely consider giving it a try!

»ARTICLE/INTERVIEW: “Just Say ‘Yes’ to the Moment,” an Interview With Tara Brach (Beliefnet)

I’m a big Tara Brach fan. She’s a psychotherapist and meditation instructor — and I really like her approach to the transformational journey. In this interview, she talks a lot about self acceptance, which is at the core of the transformational journey (and is an area I focus a lot of attention on). She also talks about fear, the “small self” and the integration of Western psychology and Eastern spiritual practices. I hope it’s helpful for you!

beliefnet and What is Enlightenment? (WIE)

andypad — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 16:15:51 +0000

Here’s what’s HOT this week:

»WEBSITE: beliefnet

Supposedly the largest spiritual website, beliefnet is packed with great resources. There’s so much to explore and enjoy, including guided meditations from Christian and Buddhist faith traditions. I deeply appreciate some of the Christian columnists on beliefnet, such as Marcus Borg, Sue Monk Kidd, Barbara Brown Taylor, and Bishop John Shelby Spong. You can now view short video clips of each of these columnists talking about various aspects of the spiritual journey, Christianity and religion. (To view video clips, just click on a name above.) For example, don’t miss Borg answering the question “How Do I See Jesus?” or Spong talking about “God’s Love” or Taylor answering the question, “How Should I Respond to People of Other Faiths?“

»MAGAZINE & WEBSITE: What Is Enlightenment? (WIE)

If I could work for any magazine, I’d probably choose this one. WIE engages and covers spirituality in a smart, wholistic and inclusive way. WIE asks big, hairy and fascinating questions, such as: Is God All in Your Head?; What Is the Role of Celibacy On the Spiritual Path?; and How Has Enlightenment Evolved? WIE is written by and covers some of the brightest thinkers and deepest souls in the world of spirituality, such as Father Thomas Keating, Ken Wilber and Eckhart Tolle. Enjoy exploring some of the sections on the site, such as: The Evolution of Spirituality; Science, Consciousness and the Soul; The Future of Religion; and Contemplative Christianity. Have fun!

Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh, Spirituality and Practice and More

andypad — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 14:49:12 +0000

Here’s what’s HOT this week:

»EVENT: Thich Nhat Hanh Speaking in San Diego
Thich Nhat Hanh is a beloved and revered Buddhist monk, poet, and peace activist. On Oct. 2, he’s the keynote speaker at the University of San Diego’s Social Issues Conference. If you live anywhere near San Diego, don’t miss him. Buy a ticket and join me!

»WEBSITE: Spirituality and Practice – Resources for Spiritual Journeys
Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat do an amazing job publishing this website, which includes everything from spiritual exercises to book reviews to e-courses. Believe it or not, their current 40-day e-course is Practicing Spirituality With Thich Nhat Hanh, which you can still sign up for. Have fun exploring this site! I subscribed to their email newsletter because I’m finding their stuff to be really helpful as I journey.

»ARTICLE: “Mystical Christianity” by Lynn C. Bauman
Bauman does a great job explaining mysticism and pointing to the mystical roots of Christianity. “If Christianity is not mystical,” she writes, “then it is nothing at all, or at least there is little or nothing left of its origins.” Also, don’t miss Bauman’s other great articles — and have fun exploring the Praxis website!

Check Out the “Conversations” Journal

andypad — Tue, 29 May 2007 16:30:20 +0000

One of my favorite authors — and someone who has become a mentor to me through his books — is David Benner. Benner is a psychologist and spiritual director and writes about counseling, spiritual direction and the integration of psychology and spirituality. He’s a very smart, clear, engaging writer with a knack for making complex ideas easy to understand. If you want to dive into Benner’s books, I highly recommend starting with his trilogy: Surrender to Love, The Gift of Being Yourself and Desiring God’s Will. I think those three books, which describe the process of deep spiritual and emotional transformation and growth, are absolute must-reads. I’d start with Surrender to Love.

Being a huge fan of Benner, I was thrilled to discover that back in 2003 he helped create a journal called Conversations: A Forum for Authentic Transformation, which is focused on the deep spiritual and emotional transformational journey with God. Some of the other people involved in this publication are: Larry Crabb, Gary W. Moon, Dallas Willard, Richard Foster, Margaret Guenther, John Ortberg, M. Basil Pennington and Jeannette Bakke.

Conversations comes out twice a year (spring and fall), and the spring 2007 issue, entitled “Spiritual Direction,” is now available. You can check out the table of contents and order a copy (for $15) on the website.

To get a good feel for what Conversations is all about, read a couple of the free articles from back issues. I’ve loved what I’ve read thus far! I highly recommend reading the first issue, the spring 2003 issue, which is available for free in PDF format. I think that’ll really help you get a feel for what Benner and friends are trying to do through Conversations. And that first issue includes an interactive review by Benner of Richard Rohr’s book Everything Belongs, which is one of my favorite books. Also, definitely consider reading the second issue, the fall 2003 issue, which is entitled “True Self / False Self .” Excellent stuff! And also free.

I’m finding Conversations to be a great resource as I journey with God, myself and others. I hope it’s helpful to you, too!

Spiritual Exercise: Feeling a Sense of Belonging

andypad — Tue, 15 May 2007 20:32:35 +0000

Side note: I wrote this spiritual exercise with a small-group setting in mind. But you can certainly go through this exercise alone. Feel the freedom to use this exercise however you want to. Skip some steps, add some steps, alter some steps — do whatever you sense is best for you and/or your group. You may want to use just one of the steps. That’s great!

Through my own emotional and spirtiual journey, and as I’ve journeyed deeply with others, I’ve come to believe that it’s love that heals us, it’s love that helps us mature emotionally and spiritually. Some people describe the experience of unconditional love as experiencing “a sense of belonging” or “a sense of connectedness.” One of the primary reasons 12-Step Groups (such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Codependents Anonymous) are so effective is because they provide their members with a healing “sense of belonging.”

The more we experience a sense of belonging, the more healing and growth we’ll experience.

I hope this simple exercise helps you experience a deep sense of belonging!

STEP 1: In order to quiet our hearts and minds, we’re going to sit in silence together for about two minutes. Let your thoughts and feelings settle down. Perhaps ask God to help you become aware of his/her presence.

STEP 2: Take five minutes to listen to God and journal. Ask God to surface moments in your life when you felt like you really belonged. These are moments of unconditional love, moments of feeling really connected with God, others, yourself or creation. Make a list of these moments.

STEP 3: Ask God which moment he/she would like you to bask in right now. Take thirty seconds to listen to God.

STEP 4: For the next minute, let your whole self bask in that moment of belonging. Abide in that love. Breathe it in again.

STEP 5: Let’s take some time to share with each other. I’d love to hear about the moment, the memory, you were basking in, and perhaps why you chose to bask in that particular moment.

If you don’t feel like sharing or don’t feel comfortable sharing, you don’t have to share.

STEP 6: Let’s close in prayer.

**Special Note: I adapted this exercise from a similar exercise in the book Belonging: Bonds of Healing and Recovery, by Matthew Linn, Dennis Linn and Sheila Fabricant Linn. I highly recommend the book!

Spiritual Exercise: Are You Having a Codependent Relationship With God?

andypad — Fri, 11 May 2007 22:35:35 +0000

I’ve come to believe that my relationship with God — which is influenced by my view of God (i.e., my beliefs and perceptions about God) — determines the kind of relationship I have with myself and others.

One of the major ways I examine my relationship with God is by asking myself the “barriers” question: What “barriers” do I have to enjoying a healthy, intimate, loving relationship with God? Another way I ask it is, what views (i.e., beliefs, perceptions) of God do I have that might be “barriers” to enjoying a healthy, intimate, loving relationship with God?

This exercise includes several questions that may help you indentify some barriers you have to enjoying a healthier relationship with God. I’ve grouped the questions based on patterns and characteristics of codependency. (I’m recovering from codependency, so I know these patterns and characteristics well!)

Whether you have codependent tendencies or not, I hope this exercise helps you examine your relationship with God and your view of God — and I hope it helps you take another step of growth! As you go through this exercise, try to be gut-level honest with yourself. Raw honesty is essential for deep transformation.

STEP 2: Examining Denial Patterns. Spend two minutes quietly reading over the following questions. Which question, if any, stands out from the rest? Note it in your journal (or on your piece of paper).

[Leader's Note: It would be helpful to hand out a copy of the following questions to each person in the group.]

STEP 3: Examining Low Self-Esteem Patterns. Spend two minutes quietly reading over the following questions. Which question, if any, stands out from the rest? Note it in your journal (or on your piece of paper).

STEP 4: Examining Compliance Patterns. Spend two minutes quietly reading over the following questions. Which question, if any, stands out from the rest? Note it in your journal (or on your piece of paper).

STEP 5: Examining Control Patterns. Spend two minutes quietly reading over the following questions. Which question, if any, stands out from the rest? Note it in your journal (or on your piece of paper).

STEP 6: Now we’re going to take some time to share with each other. What I’d like for each of you to share are the four questions that stood out to you, that impacted you. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing, that’s OK, you don’t have to share.

STEP 7: Which question, out of the four that you shared with us, do you sense God wants you to explore more? Another way of asking it is, which of your beliefs about God do you sense God wants to change? Let’s take the next minute to listen to God in silence. Then we’ll share our answers with each other.

STEP 8: Let’s share with each other. Which question, out of the four that you shared with us, do you sense God wants you to explore more, and why? Also, which of your beliefs about God, if any, do you sense God wants to change, and why? Again, if you don’t feel comfortable sharing, you don’t have to share.

STEP 9: Let’s close in prayer.

**Special Note: Thanks to Karla and Marian of Codependents Anonymous here in San Diego. Many of these questions came out of a workshop they gave a couple months ago.

Spiritual Exercise: Giving and Receiving Tenderness

andypad — Mon, 07 May 2007 17:08:34 +0000

Side note: I wrote this spiritual exercise with a small-group setting in mind. But you can certainly go through this exercise alone. Also, feel total freedom to use this exercise however you want to. Skip some steps, add some steps, alter some steps — do whatever you sense is best for you and/or your group. You may want to use just one of the steps. That’s great!

Tenderness is such a beautiful and powerful aspect of love. When somebody is tender toward me, I feel safer, my heart grows softer, and I tend to open up and reveal parts of myself that need healing and love. One of the reasons my good friend Randy is so good at helping people heal and grow is because he’s so tender, and he’s getting more tender all the time. It’s stunningly beautiful.

Part of the journey toward emotional and spiritual maturity is growing in tenderness, is becoming like God in God’s infinite tenderness. Even though I’m naturally tender, growing in tenderness has been difficult. In my emotional/spiritual journey, I’m learning to ask myself the “barriers” question: what barriers do I have to growing in [fill in the blank]? In regards to tenderness, then, I’ve asked myself the barriers question: what are my barriers to giving and receiving tenderness? I have several barriers, and one of them, for example, is the cultural message that for a man “tenderness is a sign of weakness, and weakness is bad.” I know that that cultural message is a bunch of crap, but for some reason I’m still buying into it to some degree. That’s a barrier. Thankfully, God is helping me to face that barrier and the others and grow in my ability to give and receive tenderness.

I hope this exercise helps you identify your barriers and experience tenderness in a way that’s healing and transformational.

STEP 2: As a way to begin to connect with the tenderness of Jesus, I’m going to slowly read out loud Jesus’ words from Matthew 23:37. Let his words wash over you and sink into you. Allow God to come to you through the words and try to be open to what God wants to surface in you. After I read, we’ll sit in silence for about 30 seconds.

“Jerusalem! Jerusalem! … How often I’ve ached to embrace your children, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you wouldn’t let me.”

STEP 3: Now I’d like for each of us to take a turn reading the verse, but we’re going to change the verse slightly to make it more personal. In the beginning of the verse we’re going to replace the word “Jerusalem” with our own names; and in the middle of the verse we’re going to change the phrase “your children” to “you.” For example, here’s how I’ll read the verse: “Andy! Andy! … How often I’ve ached to embrace you, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you wouldn’t let me.”

As each person is reading, allow God to come to you through the words and try to be open to what God wants to surface in you. If you don’t feel comfortable with reading the verse, that’s OK, you don’t have to read it. I’ll go ahead and read first, and then whoever wants to read next can go ahead and read. After everyone gets a chance to read, we’ll sit in silence for another 30 seconds.

“Andy! Andy! … How often I’ve ached to embrace you, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you wouldn’t let me.”

STEP 4: We’re going to take the next five minutes to journal. I want you to answer the following three questions, including the “barriers” question: 1) what are my barriers to giving and receiving tenderness?; 2) is it more difficult for you to give or receive tenderness, and why?; 3) on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being “very easy”), how easy is it for you to receive tenderness from God, and why?

STEP 5: We’re going to spend some time sharing with each other. Of all the things that you journaled, pick just one thing to share with us. What do you sense God wants you to share, what does God want you to bring into community? Let’s take thirty seconds to listen to God about this.

Of course you don’t have to share if you don’t feel comfortable sharing. I’ll go ahead and share first, and then whoever wants to share next can go ahead and share.

STEP 6: OK, now we’re going to do a series of short exercises to practice — and to experience — giving and receiving tenderness. In this first exercise, we’re going to practice giving tenderness to an object. We’re starting with an object because it often feels easier and safer to be tender toward an object than a human being.

I want everyone to get up and grab an object in the room. It can be anything, a pen, a cup, a figurine, anything. And bring it back to your seat with you.

For the next minute, I want you to be tender toward your object. The only rule is you can’t use words or sounds.

STEP 7: Now we’re going to give and receive tenderness with a human being. So grab a partner and sit facing each other. This time you can only use eye contact to give tenderness. No words, sounds or touching. Just eye contact.

For the first minute, one of you will give tenderness while the other person simply receives the tenderness. Then, for the second minute, switch it around.

STEP 8: OK, now we’re going to try to be tender toward ourselves. I want you to try to be tender toward a part of you that needs tenderness. Go ahead and close your eyes and I’ll lead you through this exercise.

Keep your eyes closed throughout this exercise. Let yourself relax. Take a couple slow, deep breaths. Inhale deeply, exhale deeply. Good.

What part of you needs tenderness? Perhaps it’s one of the parts of yourself that you resent, such as a “people-pleasing” part or a “perfectionistic” part. Perhaps it’s a part that you neglect. Which part of you needs tenderness? Go ahead and pick one part that needs tenderness.

Now I want you to picture that part of you, the part that needs tenderness. What does that part look like? Whatever it looks like, I want you to greet it with tenderness.

And I want you to spend the next minute being tender with that part of you. Perhaps you want to hug it or hold it tenderly, perhaps you want to speak to it tenderly. You know what it needs.

OK, you can open your eyes now.

[Leader's Note: Feel free to mention that it's OK for people to pick a body part that needs tenderness, or an emotion, or a thought, etc. So many parts of us are starving for tenderness.]

STEP 9: OK, now it’s time to try to be tender toward a person who is hard to be tender toward.

Go ahead and close your eyes again. Now I want you to picture a person who is hard to be tender toward. Perhaps this person annoys you or angers you. Whoever it is, I want you to greet this person with tenderness.

And I want you to spend the next minute being tender with this person. Perhaps you want to hug this person or hold this person tenderly. Perhaps you want to speak to this person tenderly. You know what this person needs.

OK, you can open your eyes now.

STEP 10: This is the last exercise. It’s time to soak in tenderness. It’s time to receive tenderness from somebody you trust — it could be Jesus, God as you know of God, or a loving friend or family member.

Go ahead and close your eyes once again. Now I want you to invite a person you trust — again, it could be Jesus, God as you know of God, or a loving friend or family member — to come and shower you with tenderness.

For the next minute I want you to soak in the tenderness. If it’s difficult, that’s OK. Just do your best to receive the tenderness.

OK, you can open your eyes now.

STEP 11: Before we close in prayer, I’d love to give each of you an opportunity to share one or two things about your experiences with the tenderness exercises we just went through.

STEP 12: Let’s close in prayer.

Spiritual Exercises: Five Below-the-Surface Questions

andypad — Wed, 02 May 2007 21:16:55 +0000

I plan to write many more “Below-the-Surface” (BTS) questions — they’re fun to write! — so these five are just a start. You can use these alone or in a small group. In a small-group setting (3 to 8 people), you may want to pick one question and then invite each person to answer. Sometimes my friends and I will spend 1-2 hours sharing about our lives in response to just one question. So one question can be very powerful — it can be a door to transformation.

QUESTION 1: What part of you do you resent the most, and why?

QUESTION 2: What part of you do you love the most, and why?

QUESTION 3: Close your eyes and imagine yourself receiving love. What image pops up, and why?

QUESTION 4: Close your eyes and imagine yourself giving love. What image pops up, and why?

QUESTION 5: If God gave you the power today to forgive one person completely, who would you forgive, and why?

Contemplative Prayer Groups

andypad — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 17:00:41 +0000

I love communing with God through the practices of centering prayer and contemplative prayer. On Saturday, the San Diego chapter of Contemplative Outreach hosted a fabulous workshop called, “The Art of Stillness: Reflections and Practical Refinements to Enhance One’s Centering Prayer Practice.” It was my first experience with Contemplative Outreach, and I met some wonderful people. (I feel so at home in a group of contemplatives!)

Contemplative Outreach is an international organization, and one of its main goals is to help people form contemplative prayer groups. For example, through the help of Contemplative Outreach, San Diego now has dozens of contemplative prayer groups. I plan to check out a group that meets five minutes from my house.

If you’re interested in checking out a group in your area, check out the list of Contemplative Outreach chapters. Most major cities have a chapter. For my friends in Denver, Chicago and North Carolina, I did a little work for ya. Click on the following links: Denver, Chicago, North Carolina.

If you check out a group, I’d love to hear about it!

Spiritual Exercises: Some Guided Meditations

andypad — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 18:11:17 +0000

I love guided meditations. Most of the time they really help me connect intimately with God, myself and the world around me. Here are some great guided meditations available for free in MP3 format:

The Meditation Podcast: Jesse and Jeane Stern produce a new guided meditation each month. They do an amazing job — their words, tone and pacing are fabulous. These are simple, basic meditations, and each meditation is about 25 minutes long. Their most recent meditation is called “Falling Asleep,” and it’s wonderful to use right before bed.

To download the meditations from iTunes, search iTunes for “The Meditation Podcast,” then click on “The Meditation Podcast,” then find the meditations you wish to download and click the corresponding “Get Episode” button.

Or you can go to the download page on The Meditation Podcast website and follow the instructions.

Tara Brach’s Guided Meditations: Last week on my blog I mentioned Tara Brach, a psychotherapist and Buddhist teacher and meditation leader in the Washington, D.C. area. Her guided meditations are absolutely fabulous! There are two available on her website; one is called “Guided Metta Meditation,” the other is called “Guided Vipassana Meditation” — both are about 30 minutes long.

“Metta” meditation is “loving-kindness” meditation. It’s all about abiding in love, soaking in love, in a way that’s healing and transformational. Tara’s guided metta meditation — the one available for download — is focused on the theme of “forgiveness,” and I found it extremely powerful.

“Vipassana” meditation is “insight” meditation. It’s a more basic “centering down” practice, similar to basic centering prayer or contemplative prayer.

To download Tara’s guided meditations, visit the download page on her website and follow the instructions.

Of course I highly encourage you to try these meditations. If you do, I’d love to hear about your experience. If you feel comfortable, post your comments here on my blog.